Mother of the Bride vs. Mother of the Groom Dresses - Zola Expert Wedding Advice (2022)

Your son or daughter's wedding is an exciting and eventful time—and, as the mother of one half of the happy couple, what you wear to the wedding events (like the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner) can feel like a big deal. But the most important piece of attire you'll choose leading up to your child's wedding? Your mother of the bride (or mother of the groom) dress.

If you're like some people, you've had your eye on the perfect dress since your child got engaged (or long before that!). But if you're not sure what to wear, all the choices—like what color to wear (Should I go with a pastel color scheme or go with something more bold? Should I match their wedding colors or choose something different?), the style of your dress (Do I go with a midi dress, a long dress, or a jumpsuit? Do I go with something beaded or sequined or do I keep it more simple?), and following proper wedding etiquette—things can get a little complicated.

And on top of that, you might be wondering what the difference between the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom's dress is—and how to choose the right dress for your child's big day. Let's break it all down so you have all the information you need to feel confident about your mother's dress as you walk down the aisle, greet guests, and celebrate the happy couple on their wedding day:

Taking the Lead and Shopping Schedules

The most significant difference between the mother of the bride and mother of the groom attire has nothing to do with the garments themselves—but is actually how the gowns are selected and when. Traditional etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride takes the lead and shops for her wedding attire first; then, the mother of the groom can choose her dress.

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However, many modern women use this advice as more of a guideline than a strict rule. Our suggestion? Keep the lines of communication open throughout the wedding planning process. Here is our best advice for both women shopping for the perfect dress for a special occasion.

Mother of the Bride

As the bride’s mother, you may be privy to a lot of information about the details of the wedding and your daughter’s preferences. It’s your responsibility to understand what she wants from both you and the groom’s mother in terms of your attire.

Mother of the Bride vs. Mother of the Groom Dresses - Zola Expert Wedding Advice (1)

Photo Credit // Unsplash

Typically, you shouldn’t start shopping for a dress until the bride has selected her wedding dress as well as those for the bridal party. If this hasn’t happened by about six to eight months before the wedding, check in with your daughter to see if she has a timeline, or ask if she is ok with you beginning to shop. Then, make sure you call the mother of the groom to let her know the details—like color and style—of the dress you plan to buy for the wedding day, plus share information about when you plan to start your search. This will give her a better idea of what kind of outfit she should be looking for—and when she should start looking.

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Mother of the Groom

As the groom’s mother, you’ll want to let the mother of the bride take the lead during the dress shopping process. Generally, you should expect to start your dress shopping around six months before the wedding. However, you should wait to hear from the bride’s mother before you begin. She should let you know the color and style of her dress, so you can coordinate by selecting a complimentary design. If you haven’t heard from her by about five months before the wedding, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for an update on the dress code. She should appreciate that you want to respect traditional wedding attire etiquette and will hopefully be able to give you some extra details, so you can begin shopping for your perfect dress.

Coordinate Color and Formality

Unless you are specifically asked to do so by the bride, both mothers should avoid matching each other or the bridesmaids’ dresses. However, coordination is still crucial for chic photographs on the big day. So, at the very least, both mothers will want to wear colors that complement the other. But it’s important to check in with the bride before you make any decisions. Maybe she envisions everyone wearing neutral tones, or perhaps she prefers bold and bright. Regardless of her preference, chances are she has one, so make sure you know what it is.

Make sure you’re both wearing the same formality of dress as well. Otherwise, photos will appear off-balanced, and it might be misconstrued that one mother is trying to outshine or outdo the other. If the mother of the bride selects a more casual and laid-back look, most likely approved by the bride herself, then the groom’s mother probably won’t want to choose an overly formal dress. Open communication is key.

Color palette ideas for your dress

Not sure what kinds of colors would work best for your mother of the bride or mother of the groom dress? Here are a few color palette ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

  • Neutrals. When in doubt, going with a neutral dress color—like black (despite some old style misconceptions, it's totally appropriate to wear black to a wedding!), navy, gray, or taupe—is always a safe bet. Neutrals also work particularly well at black tie weddings.
  • Silver and gold. Another can't-miss palettes for mother of the bride or mother of the groom dresses? Different shades of silver and gold. Keep things classic or try variations of the shades, like a champagne, rose gold, or shimmery charcoal.
  • Jewel tones. If you want something a bit more unique and eye-catching, jewel tones—like emerald or plum—are also a great option, particularly for fall or winter weddings.

Dress Length

This is one element of the dresses that do not have to match, as long as the formality is coordinated. For example, if the mother of the bride dress consists of a floor-length gown for an evening affair, the mother of the groom may decide to wear a knee-length cocktail dress. Similarly, if the bride’s mother chooses to wear a tea-length dress for a daytime garden wedding, the groom’s mother may opt for a flowy maxi dress. The length of your gown should be about what you are most comfortable in, so try out a few options and choose what works best for you and your style.

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Mother of the Bride vs. Mother of the Groom Dresses - Zola Expert Wedding Advice (2)

Photo Credit // Lisa Houston Photography

Etiquette for Step-Mothers

In general, you’ll do your best to avoid matching with the bridesmaids or the mothers of the couple getting married. However, to determine whether or not you should also coordinate with both mothers, check in with the bride. Chances are, you will be in at least a few group photos with the parents of the bride and groom, and perhaps the wedding party. So, you’ll want to wear something that doesn’t clash with the rest of the group in photos.

Much like the mother of the groom, step-mothers of both the bride or groom should follow the lead of the mother of the bride. Specifically, you’ll want to ensure both the mother of the bride and mother of the groom have selected their dresses before you begin looking for yours.

Dress Guidelines for All Mothers

Though you’re no longer relegated to wearing matronly dresses, there are a few guidelines mothers of the bride, mothers of the groom, and step-mothers should all follow when dress shopping:

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  1. No White: It may seem obvious, but wearing white on someone else’s wedding day is frowned upon. This includes shades of bright white, ivory, champagne, and some off-whites.
  2. Avoid Black: As a color associated with grief, it’s best to avoid wearing a black dress to a wedding unless it’s a formal affair or has been approved by the bride.
  3. Keep It Simple: The design of your dress does not need to be dull or drab, but you should attempt to keep things simple. Avoid too many embellishments or bold, dramatic colors. These eye-catching elements may distract guests from the bride, who should be the center of attention on her big day.
  4. When in Doubt, Ask the Bride: If you’ve found a dress you love, but aren’t sure about the color, style, or formality, don’t be afraid to ask the bride for her opinion. Of course, you should feel beautiful and comfortable in whatever you wear, but she probably has a clear vision for the aesthetic of her big day, and you should attempt to support that.

The mother of the bride and mother of the groom dresses aren’t all that different in terms of colors, style, or design. The contrast between these two gowns is in how they are selected. Both women should consider the bride’s preferences, but the mother of the bride should be allowed to take the lead on dress shopping for all mothers and step-mothers of the bride and groom. Following these simple guidelines are sure to make the process go smoothly and efficiently.

Shopping Tips

Want to make sure your dress shopping trip is a successful one? Make sure to keep these tips in mind:

  • Bring a swatch of the bridesmaid's dress. If the bridesmaid's dresses are locked in, bring a swatch with you on your shopping trip; that way, you can avoid buying a dress that clashes.
  • Shop in advance. You don't want to wait until last minute to get your dress for your child's wedding. Make sure to buy your dress at least a few months in advance (three or more is ideal); that way, you have plenty of time to find the perfect attire—and to get any necessary alterations before the big day.
  • Ask what to wear with the dress. Once you find the perfect dress, make sure to ask the salesperson for their insights on what else you'll need to wear with the dress—like undergarments, shapewear, pantyhose, shoes, and accessories.

Outfit Ideas for the Mother’s Dress

Need some more inspiration for your mother of the bride or groom dress? Check out these outfit ideas:

For a black tie event, try a floor-length gown.

A black tie wedding is all about formal attire. So, if your children are hosting a black tie affair, make sure to wear a floor-length gown—preferably in a neutral tone (no overly bold hues).

For semi-formal wedding, consider a cocktail dress or pant suit.

With a semi-formal wedding, you have more options. A mid-length cocktail dress is a great way to achieve an elegant look. Or, if you prefer to be a bit more covered up, a wide-legged pants suit in an elegant fabric is a great alternative.

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For a beach wedding, rock a flowing sundress.

Beach weddings are more laid-back and casual than other types of nuptials—and a formal dress would feel out of place. Opt for a well-cut, flowing sundress in a breathable fabric—and pair with dressy sandals to pull the look together (while still feeling comfortable on the sand!).

FAQs

Should the mother of the bride wear the same color as the mother of the groom? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride has been the first to choose her dress. The color of the mother of the groom's dress should complement, but not match it. This is easier than it sounds because no two hues are exactly alike. To augment the distinction, you can choose different accessories.

Can the mother of the groom wear a short dress if the mother of the bride wears long? ›

Can the mother of the groom wear a short dress if the mother of the bride wears long? In short, yes. If the mother of the bride decides to wear long, this doesn't mean you have to. Especially if you're not comfortable in a full-length dress or outfit.

Does mother of groom dress have to match mother of bride? ›

The mothers of the bride and groom don't need to match on the wedding day. Both are encouraged to wear outfits that represent their personal style. If the couple does prefer to have the moms wear complementary outfits, try to find colors or silhouettes that look great together.

Who is more important mother of the bride or mother of the groom? ›

Traditionally speaking, though, the bride's family pays for the bulk of the wedding—venue, reception, photographer, flowers, etc. As such, the mother of the bride is typically more 'in charge' of these things (along with the bride, of course) than the mother of the groom is.

What color should the mother of the groom not wear? ›

Colors a Mother of the Groom Should NOT Wear

It's best to avoid wearing white or any color that resembles the bride's wedding outfit. You may also want to steer clear of blush, beige, or other light neutral tones that may appear lighter on camera. "Skip black or white, unless the bride and groom have requested it.

What is the traditional color for the mother of the groom? ›

If your wedding is a formal one, some mothers of the groom might prefer to wear shades of gold, dark silver, or even black. Other darker colors that might be worn include shades of : Navy. Green.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
2 Jul 2019

Who walks mother of groom down aisle? ›

The groom might opt to escort his mother down the aisle and to her seat in the front row, followed closely behind by the groom's father. This gives the groom an opportunity to give his parents a hug before taking his place at the altar.

Does mother of groom give gift to bride? ›

Does the mother of the groom give the bride a gift? The mother of the groom traditionally brings a small gift to the bridal shower. When it comes to the wedding itself, the mother of the groom can give the bride a more sentimental gift, like a family heirloom, to officially welcome her into the family.

What is the most popular color for mother of the bride dresses? ›

When it comes to color choices, navy is the number-one most requested color for the mothers of the bride and groom. Other popular colors include blush and shades of nude.

What Colour is the mother of the bride supposed to wear? ›

Colors like plum, lavender, eggplant, silver, navy and gold are the perfect pick for the mother of the bride dress. This is a universally flattering color combination for bridal parties. Choosing a mother of the bride dress to complement this color theme will be a bit easier.

What should I wear to my son's wedding? ›

Moms will look lovely in elegant dresses, lace skirts, and stylish jumpsuits for casual or formal weddings. The mother of the groom's dress should also adhere to the wedding's dress code. For a formal wedding, you'll need an expensive gown or pantsuit, but for a more casual one, you may wear anything you like.

Which mother walks down the aisle first? ›

A. The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn.

How much money should the groom's parents give as a wedding gift? ›

Parents of the bride and groom collectively contribute about $19,000 to the wedding, or about two-thirds of the total cost, according to WeddingWire. The bride's parents give an average $12,000, and the groom's, $7,000. Just 1 in 10 couples pays for the wedding entirely on their own, according to TheKnot.com.

What is the groom's mother responsible for? ›

Traditionally speaking, the mother of the groom is responsible for planning and hosting the rehearsal dinner with the grooms' father (typically) the night before the wedding. This is one of the biggest mother of the groom responsibilities, so make sure you start planning the dinner about six months in advance.

Does mother of groom give a speech? ›

What is FAQ? The mother of the groom can give a speech or just a toast at the rehearsal dinner, as she is one of the hosts of the event. There are some details that a speech should include, such as special memories, stories about the couple, and of course, the toast.

What does the mother of the groom wear to rehearsal dinner? ›

What's The Theme? If a wedding and rehearsal dinner invitation specify a theme or dress code, it must be respected. If the fine print says 'black tie', then the mother of the bride should wear a full-length gown (the same goes for the mother of the groom).

What does the groom's parents pay for? ›

Tradition dictates that the groom's family pays for the full cost of the rehearsal dinner, even though the bride's family and friends attend the event as well. That includes food, drink, venue fees, entertainment, and transportation. Often the groom's family cherishes this responsibility.

Can mother of the groom wear floral? ›

If you're the mother of the bride or groom, you should certainly considering wearing a floral dress to the big day. In addition to being beautiful, flattering, and downright fun, a floral dress is the perfect way to ensure that your look coordinates with the wedding party and the day's overall color palette.

Who's invited to the rehearsal dinner? ›

Your immediate families, the bridal party (including the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer, even if they're not in the wedding), any ceremony readers, and your officiant (plus his or her spouse, if married) should always be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Can the mother of the groom wear pink? ›

Everything in This Slideshow

And there's another color we think every mother of the bride or groom should consider wearing on her child's big day, and it's pink. Whether your child is tying the knot in the summer or winter, spring or fall, a pink dress is perfectly appropriate.

How should the mother of the groom wear her hair? ›

One of the most popular hairstyles for the mother of the groom is a soft updo with curls and nice pins. If your hair is too short, your hairdresser can help you throw some loose curls in it and add jewels to make it a little fancier for the occasion.

Who seats the mother of the groom at a wedding? ›

5 minutes prior to ceremony: The groom's mother is escorted to her seat by the head usher, a son, or the groom. The groom's father follows and sits next to her.

What is a good song for mother and son to dance to at his wedding? ›

A few songs we love for this include: “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack, “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers, “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” by Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo'ole, “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong, or “I'll Stand By You” by The Pretenders.

Who usually speaks at a wedding? ›

Who Traditionally Gives Speeches at Weddings? At a traditional wedding, there are three people who give speeches. These are the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. If the father of the bride is deceased or not in attendance, someone else may give a speech in his place.

Who walks first in weddings? ›

1. Officiant. Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.

Does the groom dance with his mother? ›

The mother-son dance is a popular tradition for the groom during wedding reception celebrations. The groom will take his mother out on the dance floor for a special dance together for this tradition. It is a time for the groom to focus on his mother and create a special moment together one-on-one.

Does the groom's mom to wedding dress shopping? ›

Traditional etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride takes the lead and shops for her wedding attire first; then, the mother of the groom can choose her dress. However, many modern women use this advice as more of a guideline than a strict rule.

Who buys the mother of the groom gift? ›

Some soonlyweds choose to give the mother of the groom a gift as a couple, while others prefer to take care of their own parents' presents. It's also acceptable for the groom's S.O. to buy the mother of the groom a gift, especially if she really went the extra mile in fulfilling her wedding duties.

What length should mother of bride dress be? ›

The length of the gown or dress is a personal choice, even for formal weddings. Long dresses and skirts are fine for any wedding from noon on. The mothers do not have to wear dresses of equal length, although many do, feeling that it creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos.

Who chooses mother of the bride dress? ›

A: Traditionally the Mother of the Bride chooses her dress first and notifies the Mother of the Groom so they can coordinate their outfits. You don't want the mothers looking at odds with each other because one is dressed more formally or they're wearing clashing colors.

Does mother of the bride wear same color as bridesmaids? ›

No, the mother of the bride doesn't need to match the bridesmaids or the wedding party in general. The bride may prefer to have corresponding colors for a cohesive look, but it ultimately comes down to personal preference.

Does the mother of the bride get ready with the bride? ›

Its up to you lovely! But generally the bride gets ready with her bridesmaids and mother.

Does the mother of the bride carry a purse down the aisle? ›

Purse: Mothers should not forget to carry a purse. Not only does a chic clutch look smart, it has the added bonus of keeping the mother's arm in check as she's escorted down the aisle.

Is navy too dark for mother of the bride? ›

Since it's flattering on just about everyone, and because nearly every designer seems to offer an evening gown in the deep blue hue, navy is the perfect color for the mothers of the bride and groom to consider wearing on the big day.

Do groom's parents speak at the wedding? ›

Traditionally, there's a father of the groom speech, as well. You'll want to keep your toast short and sweet, but be sure to tell your son how much you love them, address their new spouse, thank everyone for coming to the wedding, and offer some parting wisdom or advice for the newlyweds.

What do parents of the bride and groom wear? ›

The father of the bride and the father of the groom don't necessarily have to match the groomsmen's accessories. Dad can wear a tie, bow tie, and/or pocket square that complements what the groomsmen are wearing, or he can choose to coordinate his accessories with his partner's attire.

What should father of the groom wear? ›

As a general rule, the fathers should at least match the level of formality of the groomsmen. That means if the groomsmen are wearing tuxes, the fathers should wear tuxes as well. If the groomsmen are in suits, they should at least wear a suit.

Who walks mother of the bride? ›

The mother of the bride is the last person seated before the officiant, groom and best man take their places at the altar. She can walk alone or be escorted by her son, son-in-law or another relative.

Who walks groom down the aisle? ›

Groom. Traditionally, he walks down the aisle solo but some grooms prefer walking down the aisle escorted by both parents. Other grooms prefer a more subtle approach by entering the ceremony from the side of the venue (following the officiant and followed by the groomsmen) to take his place at the altar.

Who travels with groom to wedding? ›

The Bride travels to the ceremony accompanied by her Father or the person who is giving her away in one car. Most couples go for a second car that will carry the Brides Mother and the Bridesmaids. The Groom will arrive with his Best Man or Ushers, not necessarily in a wedding car.

How much money should a couple give for a 2022 wedding gift? ›

2022 isn't much different! We're seeing the same general amount to give for a wedding gift of cash: anywhere within the $75 to $200 range is the norm. On average, most wedding guests give a gift of around $150 to $160 as a wedding present. According to etiquette experts, though, the minimum amount is around $75.

Can the mother of the bride and mother of the groom wear the same color dress? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride has been the first to choose her dress. The color of the mother of the groom's dress should complement, but not match it. This is easier than it sounds because no two hues are exactly alike. To augment the distinction, you can choose different accessories.

How much money do I give my daughter for her wedding? ›

Of course, it would be amazing to give your daughter thousands and thousands of dollars as a wedding gift, but not at the risk of making your own financial situation dire. Depending on their relationship with the bride, wedding guests typically give between $50 – $150 when making a monetary gift.

What color should the mother of the groom not wear? ›

Colors a Mother of the Groom Should NOT Wear

It's best to avoid wearing white or any color that resembles the bride's wedding outfit. You may also want to steer clear of blush, beige, or other light neutral tones that may appear lighter on camera. "Skip black or white, unless the bride and groom have requested it.

Does the mother of the groom wear a certain color? ›

The mother of the groom should wear colors that look nice on her and complement the wedding colors. That doesn't mean you're supposed to wear the wedding theme colors––you want to stand out at the wedding, not blend in with the backdrop.

Why cant the mother of the groom see the wedding? ›

1. Mother of the bride and groom don't attend the wedding: In a traditional Bengali wedding, the mother of the bride and groom don't attend their son's or daughter's wedding as they believe that the mother would have a harmful or evil effect on the married life of the child. 2.

What color can the mother of the bride wear? ›

Colors like plum, lavender, eggplant, silver, navy and gold are the perfect pick for the mother of the bride dress. This is a universally flattering color combination for bridal parties. Choosing a mother of the bride dress to complement this color theme will be a bit easier.

What is the most popular color for mother of the bride dresses? ›

When it comes to color choices, navy is the number-one most requested color for the mothers of the bride and groom. Other popular colors include blush and shades of nude.

What is the mother of the bride supposed to wear? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride's dress should complement the wedding party's colors (though not necessarily match). Therefore, it's best to wait until your daughter chooses the bridesmaids' dresses to begin shopping, says expert Shea Jensen.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
2 Jul 2019

Who walks the groom's mother down the aisle? ›

As the wedding begins, the groom's mother will be escorted down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind.

Who Walks mother of the bride down the aisle? ›

2. Mother of the bride. The mother of the bride is the last person seated before the officiant, groom and best man take their places at the altar. She can walk alone or be escorted by her son, son-in-law or another relative.

Do parents of groom give wedding gift? ›

Does the mother of the groom give the bride a gift? The mother of the groom traditionally brings a small gift to the bridal shower. When it comes to the wedding itself, the mother of the groom can give the bride a more sentimental gift, like a family heirloom, to officially welcome her into the family.

What length should mother of bride dress be? ›

The length of the gown or dress is a personal choice, even for formal weddings. Long dresses and skirts are fine for any wedding from noon on. The mothers do not have to wear dresses of equal length, although many do, feeling that it creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos.

Who chooses mother of the bride dress? ›

A: Traditionally the Mother of the Bride chooses her dress first and notifies the Mother of the Groom so they can coordinate their outfits. You don't want the mothers looking at odds with each other because one is dressed more formally or they're wearing clashing colors.

Should mother of the groom match bridesmaids? ›

The short answer: Yes, but you've got to get it right. Some may think it's gauche for a mother of the bride or groom to too closely match the bridesmaids, but tradition actually dictates that the moms should wear attire that complements what your bridal party will be wearing.

Does mother of bride dance with groom? ›

The bride and groom share the first dance. The father of the bride then dances with the bride. The groom may also dance with the mother of the bride. Next, the bride's mother and father dance together.

Does mother of the bride wear same color as bridesmaids? ›

No, the mother of the bride doesn't need to match the bridesmaids or the wedding party in general. The bride may prefer to have corresponding colors for a cohesive look, but it ultimately comes down to personal preference.

What does the mother of the groom wear to rehearsal dinner? ›

What's The Theme? If a wedding and rehearsal dinner invitation specify a theme or dress code, it must be respected. If the fine print says 'black tie', then the mother of the bride should wear a full-length gown (the same goes for the mother of the groom).

How should the mother of the groom wear her hair? ›

One of the most popular hairstyles for the mother of the groom is a soft updo with curls and nice pins. If your hair is too short, your hairdresser can help you throw some loose curls in it and add jewels to make it a little fancier for the occasion.

What is the groom's mother responsible for? ›

Traditionally speaking, the mother of the groom is responsible for planning and hosting the rehearsal dinner with the grooms' father (typically) the night before the wedding. This is one of the biggest mother of the groom responsibilities, so make sure you start planning the dinner about six months in advance.

Which mother is seated first at a wedding? ›

In Christian ceremonies, the bride's mother is always seated last and the groom's mother is seated just before her. The seating of the bride's mother usually signals the ceremony is about to begin. 7.

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